Code of Conduct - Paul Pearce

Paul W Pearce
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Code of Conduct

The Making of Code of Conduct

William Joseph Henry Thomas Pearce, my father, threw up his hands and wondered out loud "I wish that kids came with instruction manuals to bring them up." Many joke about this, I believe he really meant it. The source of the frustration was my brother and me. Dad was the youngest of 9 children, I am the oldest of two.
How can I know what is right or wrong? Where can I go for guidance? How can I acquire the knowledge to make it through life? From fixing toasters to the great questions of the meaning of life. Dad used books. From the  Do-It-Yourself Encyclopedia to the Holy Bible, the answers seemed to be there for him.
I also grew up with his manuals as a guide, We created projects from books and my father taught us how to act like soldiers using his Army manual.
These books are full of useful information and lies.
My initial thought was to create my own manual based on the influences that I was exposed to while growing up and those imposed on me.
I am in a contsant state of self examination and doubt. Having experienced war, I carry a grudge against my country and myself. I carry a cynical attitude like the backpacks i carried as a Boy Scout and a combat soldier. As I have come to examine my life, I see where my "character" comes from and I also see where my neuroses are nurtured.
My goal was to come to terms with my actions and resolve the conflicts that torment me.
I examined the creeds, oaths,prayers and "how to do it" manuals that I was exposed to and expected to follow.
I am a patient person, patient and persistant. I will try over and over to master or solve a problem. I am usually sucessful. My two biggest challenges that I am struggling to overcome yet am destined to lose are; how can keep my mother alive and happy and how can I find peace within the world and myself. These are ultimately lost causes.

"Code of Conduct" is an ongoing artist book - initally created with a NYSCA grant.
I don't think it will ever be finished.

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