Artist's Statement

Words for every reluctant, repentant, conscripted warrior:

"You're not welcome"

Don't thank me for my service, don't ask me what I did.
My country made me do it, and I was just a kid.

I never was a hero, though that's what people say.

What's so damn heroic about blowing a family away?

No matter where the battle, in spite of suffering and pain

Even noble warriors eventually die in vain.

Don't thank me for my service, you haven't got a clue.

You don't have any idea what my country made me do

links:
Battle on Chu Pa Mountain
After Action Report
"You're not welcome" poem

"You're not welcome" song by the Bandwitts
"Diary of a Disposable Soldier" by Howard Rose Jr
Duties of a Forward observer

As an artillery forward observer, I used a map and compass to fire on the enemy. Where was my moral compass? I am diagnosed with "moral injury".

As a boy I played with toy soldiers. In WWI children played with wounded soldiers

I now place myself inside those wounded toy soldiers. My war will never end.

The battlefield is now still in trenches, and on the devices in our hands.

I met my best friend, Howard Rose, on the Chu Pa mountain. Howard was an infantry radio operator, I was his unit's forward observer.

I wrote "You're not welcome" in response to the "Thank you for your service" response I am given when I'm identified as a veteran. It has been recorded as a song by the Bandwitts.